This post continues from part one:
In my last blogpost, I talked a little about Jean Grou’s idea that, in my words, each new beginning in the spiritual life tends to come with a sense of the sweetness of His blessing and His presence to draw us away from the emptiness of “without God” pleasures.
“Then self-love attaches itself to these consolations, to this peace, to this sensible recollection, until God takes away that support, and withdraws little by little all sensible feeling, leaving to the soul, at the same time, its peace and tranquility.” (p. 304.)
Many never recognize this temptation. We often don’t realize that the blessings and consolations God gives to draw us away from sensual passions and into His felt affection can become another place of idolatry. I can find myself wanting a repeat performance of some felt sense of His presence, or some powerful insight, or some inspiring motivation. My self-promotion gets attached to my spiritual experiences. I seek blessings more than I seek the Blessor.
So, to help us stop seeking spiritual comforts for their own sake, God removes their support from us. But even though the felt sense of His presence seems to fade and go dry, we are still left with a deep peace. It may not be a profoundly felt peace, but it remains a deep sense of quiet confidence that God is making everything well. We can learn to let these felt experiences of God go peacefully and rest in His unfailing (even if unfelt) care.
But eventually, we may find that
“At last, by various kinds of trials, He apparently disturbs this peace upon which self-love was relying. We begin to lose ground, and to find no longer any resource in ourselves.” (p. 304.)
This seems to describe my journey of late. I have felt a kind of inward restlessness. Grou says that Self, when it can find nothing to attach to in consolation, attaches to inward peace. God then removes even this, which is a harder, more painful inward trial. I think this is another way of talking about John of the Cross’s “Dark night of the Senses” and “Dark Night of the Spirit.” This feeling of losing ground is horrible. The sense of inward resourcelessness is discouraging. I am pressed to cease trusting in my own understanding and trust in God alone. Simple trust. Naked trust.
Read part three
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