Alan Fadling: Notes from my Unhurried Journey

He knows that the spiritual life has its winters, its hurricanes, its tempests, and its clouds–that is to say, its times of dryness and disgust, its interior weariness and its temptations. He passes courageously through all these trials, and waits in peace for the return of fine weather. He is not uneasy about his progress; he is not always turning round to see how far he has advanced on the road; but he goes on his way quietly, without even thinking if he is walking, and he advances far more because he is not looking to see how he advances. In this way, he is not troubled, he is not discouraged. If he falls, he humbles himself for it, but he gets up against directly, and runs with fresh ardor.” (p. 318-19.)

Grou talks about the orientation and perspective of the maturing follower of God. I wish I could say that I’ve been as faithful as the guy Grou describes. I have not always waited in peace for the return of fine weather (though I have been grateful, for example, for the return of financially fine weather and for the slow return of fair weather for Gem’s back).

I see in Grou’s counsel a caution for my tendency to keep looking back to gauge my progress. My life focus is not on my spiritual formation, but on the One Who is forming me like a sculptor working with clay. He is my focus, not my own growth (or lack of it). I don’t want to be the child digging up a seed to see if it’s growing yet. That just doesn’t help! Instead of being troubled or discouraged by my apparent lack of progress, I can instead redirect that energy towards God.

Falling is not an occasion for discouragement and, therefore, immobilization. Instead, it is a moment to get up immediately and return to the journey with fresh, God-given energy. Even in my falling, my first glance as I rise must be towards God and not towards myself. Slowly I  learn…