“Right now someone exists who has disappointed and offended us, someone with whom we are continually displeased and with whom we are most impatient, irritated, unforgiving, and spiteful than we would dare be with anyone else. That person is ourselves. We are so often fed up with ourselves. We’re sick of our own mediocrity, revolted by our own inconsistency, bored by our own monotony. We would never judge any other of God’s children with the savage self-condemnation with which we crush ourselves. We must be patient, gentle, and compassionate with ourselves in the same way we try to love our neighbor.” (Brennan Manning. The Signature of Jesus. Portland, OR: Multnomah Press, 1992, p. 142.)
Do you struggle with self-condemnation? Are you sometimes harder on yourself than you are on others? How do you need to let yourself be loved, and treat yourself a little more patiently and gently?
Take a few moments to talk honestly with the Father about these things. Let your heart realize that God’s posture toward your shortcomings and line-crossings is one of mercy, forgiveness, and determination to bring you closer to Himself in holiness and goodness. There is no more condemnation for us once we’ve entrusted ourselves to Christ (Romans 8:1). So why do some of us keep going down that path? I think that’s a good question to ask ourselves.
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Alan,
this is certainly a true statement for me sometimes, i.e., extending grace to myself. We are harder on ourselves than on anyone else, causing stress levels of the highest level. Retreat, reflection and listening to God’s voice can provide us with avenues of grace to ourselves and others. We will not die if we fail. It maybe the opposite, i.e., we can grow through failure.
On another note, Alan, I am reading the book called Margin by Richard Swenson. COuld you provide me your own personal comment and evaluation of this resource? Appreciate it.
Virgil…I think most of, to one degree or another, resonate with what Manning says here. It seems easier to give grace and be patient with another than with ourselves. I have found that disciplines of disengagement (like solitude, silence, fasting, simplicity or retreat, for example) have helped to diminish this compulsive self-condemnation in me.
As for Margin, it’s a book I’ve recently looked at again in my writing work on the theme of “Unhurried Time.” It’s a very good resource. In a sense, the writing I want to do addresses the issue of “spiritual margin,” which isn’t clearly addressed in his work.
Alan, thank you for you reply. I am looking forward to the unhurried day at Evergreen. Also, I would like to learn more about your perspective of spiritual margin. If there is something you have read or have some more thoughts on, I would love to hear it.
Blessings,
[...] A Good Word: The Hardest One to Love” – I posted a quotation from Brennan Manning’s book, The Signature of Jesus that seemed to hit home for many. Who is the hardest one for you to love? You might be surprised… [...]