Alan Fadling: Notes from my Unhurried Journey

The retreat group of Dominican pastors and ministry leaders

It’s going to take me more than one day to remember and write up the stories of what we saw God do in the lives of Dominican pastors in the last three days. I’m getting ready to drive with my friend, Samuel, up to a very remote village to visit some of his pastor friends up there and encourage them. More stories to come, I’m sure.

In the meantime, let me share a little news:

When I led the retreat for English-speaking missionaries on Friday/Saturday, they were very skeptical that the Dominican pastors would be receptive or responsive to two hours of solitude. The missionaries would be praying, but had serious doubts. (For example, when Dominicans see someone sitting alone, their impulse is to walk up and ask, “What’s wrong?” That actually happened to one of our group on Tuesday when they were alone with God near the street where the retreat center is located!)

The DR pastors retreat ended yesterday after lunch. I don’t know how it could have been more remarkable. God’s palpable blessing was with us every moment. It always sounds cliché to say, “I felt prayed for,” but I did, perhaps more than I can ever remember. I had occasional anxious thoughts enter my mind, but they never took root. Among the twenty-five who came, we had the bishop of the Free Methodist Church in the DR (the oldest denominational church in the nation, representing about 300 churches), a Free Methodist superintendent, the pastor of one of the largest churches in the capitol city of Santo Domingo, two other leaders of large pastoral networks throughout the nation. Their response to the time of solitude and silence with God was overwhelmingly positive and passionate. I am rather confident that this was the birth of a movement in the DR. This group has the network to help that happen.

One bivocational youth pastor came. He grew up in a pastor’s home. There were always people in their home growing up, so he never felt comfortable being alone, but felt very fearful and anxious. He has felt most connected to God in community with others. He doesn’t feel afraid when he is with other Christians. So, he was very anxious about the idea of spending two hours alone with God on Tuesday morning. He shared later that his knees were literally shaking and he was sweating. As he sat with God, he began to write his feelings to God in a journal. (I am going to see if he is willing to share his written prayer with me in writing. When he read this prayer, I was deeply moved by its honesty and depth).

After 30 minutes alone, he decided to take a walk up the road. He almost brought his Bible, but then realized that he might actually end up “doing Bible reading” rather than “being with God.” (It’s ironic that one could get into the word of God to escape the voice of God). The last 90 minutes of his time alone with God were deeply peaceful and restful. He shared that his felt at home with God. His heart was light. He was deeply grateful!

Another leader came who works with YWAM in a very remote and isolated part of the country. He shared on the first night privately with my friend, Samuel, “I have been very dry and disillusioned for more than three years. This has been hard on my marriage, especially in the last year. I haven’t had devotional time with God for a long while. I don’t feel I get anything when I read the Bible.” (Part of his dryness came from the disillusionment of seeing one of his spiritual mentors fall morally).

On Wednesday, at the end of the retreat, he shared again with Samuel: “For the first time in a long time, I feel fullness and refreshment from God.” I could see the difference on his face!

Another participant, who was recently elected to the position of bishop over the Free Methodist Churches in the DR (about 300 of them), came to this retreat very tired. He shared that before becoming bishop, he had the habit of walking in the mornings for exercise and prayer. In the three months since becoming bishop, he has not been able to do this once. His wife had been sharing her concern for how tired he was and urged him to find some time to rest. She was thrilled when she discovered that the theme of the retreat was “Rest With Purpose.”

As the two hours of solitude began, the bishop decided to take his first walk in a very long time. After a while, he sensed the Lord saying, “Sit down.” He really didn’t want to, so he kept walking. But God’s voice to him was persistent, “Sit down.” He finally responded and sat on the side of the road. Once seated, he sensed the Lord saying, “I want you to understand that your job is really My job.” As he shared this story later with the whole group, he came to one of the comfortable seats in the middle of the group (he usually sat out on the edge of the group). He said, “So I am going to obey the Lord and sit down now.” I could see a restfulness and peace on his face that hadn’t been there as the retreat began.

Another woman works with over 150 children in a poor urban neighborhood of Santiago. She has been doing this for so many years that most of her young adult leaders were once her children. She is a strong, capable, godly woman. When the group gathered after the two hours of solitude, she shared very honestly that she had struggled since she was a child with deep fears. This has often led her to try to control the ministry. In her time alone, she felt God inviting her to release the ministry into His hands and let Him carry the burden. She felt God’s great care for the many children to whom she ministers.

Thank you for your prayers. I was upheld by you. Dominican pastors were blessed by you. The church in this nation has been enriched by you. And, towards the end of the time, there was a strong request from the pastors before we even raised the idea of a Journey process for them in the DR. I believe the seeds are there for a first “DR Generation” within the year.

Finally, one of the message that became a running theme for us were insights that Chuck Miller has shared for years: Jesus is continually inviting us to “Come to me” and “Come, follow me.” The invitation is not “Come to it” (a meeting, a building, a social, etc.) or “Come, follow it” (a mission statement, a ministry program, a leader’s vision). The pastors saw these invitations very practically as Jesus’ invitation to begin their day with Him (“Come to me” or “Ven a mi”) and continue their day of ministry with Him (“Come, follow me” or “Ven sigueme”). They were very encouraged, as was I!