Gem and me in front of the Treasury in the ancient stone city of Petra (Jordan)

I’ve shared here in the past about my being a recovering perfectionist (in “The Deadly Disease of Perfectionism,” “Perfectionism Paralyzes” and “Good Enough?” for example). One of the ways this sneaks up behind me is in the common Christian question about what is the best decision in a particular situation? For me, that question often become paralyzing. I usually end up doing nothing.

For example, if I have ten ways that I could meet with God, but can’t figure out which is best, then I sometimes end up doing none of them. Even if I did the poorest fitting one (whatever that would be), it would have been more than the nothing I ended up doing.

Whatever “holy perfection” is, it’s about completeness or maturity, not flawlessness. Satan wants perfect to mean flawless. That is humanly impossible and a great trap. I have found that sometimes, my way out of such stuckness is make the free choice to do nothing. I own that choice. I take responsibility for it. And, then, I find myself free to change my mind to choose a good that just might not be perfect (or even necessarily the best).

Satan uses my perfectionism as a way of making me into a victim, rather than a son of God with power and authority in Christ.

I must now allow perfectionism to enslave me. I think of Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 6:12 “And I will be mastered by nothing (including perfectionism).” Paul says that all things are permissible or legal. I could make any choice I might want to make. But I don’t want to be mastered by anything. I don’t want to be stuck in legalism, nor through exercise of freedom. Not every free choice is necessarily beneficial.

And I cannot overcome perfectionism perfectly! Freedom from perfectionism comes in relationship with a God of mercy and grace. I need His help.

Perfectionism felt valuable in my twenties and thirties, questionable in my forties, and now diabolical in my fifties.

For Reflection:

• Do you recognize any patterns of perfectionism in your own ways of thinking? How are you coming to see it as more liability than asset?

Click here to make any Amazon purchase in support of this blog.
This does not add to the cost of your order, but provides a referral fee to this ministry.
[Click to learn more]

Good Friday afternoon to you. I have written a number of articles and posted them ahead into early June here. That’s because I’ll be away a lot in the next week-and-a-half. If you’re willing to partner with me prayerfully, here’s where I’ll be and what I’ll be doing:

• Sat/Sun, 5/26-27 – Copa Airline flight from LAX to Santiago, Dominican Republic (via Panama City).
• Mon-Thu., 5/28-31 – The Journey DR Gen 1 retreat #3 at Rancho la Aurora in Jarabacoa.
• Thu., 5/31 – Copa Airlines return flight
• Fri., 6/1 afternoon – Email my complete first draft of “An Unhurried Life” to InterVarsity Press!!
• Fri., 6/1 evening – Fly to Sacramento, CA
• Sat., 6/2 – Day retreat (partnering with TLI colleague, Chuck Miller) for the board and staff of Big Valley Christian School in Modesto, CA.
• Wed., 6/6 – Day retreat for the Trustees of Vanguard University (in Costa Mesa, CA)

I mention “partner with me prayerfully” because I have come to believe that I really cannot do this ministry alone. I need the help of God’s Spirit and of your prayers. That’s not merely a platitude. It is a felt reality for me. Thanks for joining my team in the next week-and-a-half.

Click here to make any Amazon purchase in support of this blog.
This does not add to the cost of your order, but provides a referral fee to this ministry.
[Click to learn more]

“I like books. I mean really love them. You can ask my wife or one of my three sons about my “toys.” They’d all know you were talking about my books. It probably borders on obsessive, compulsive or at least pathological. One of the qualities I’ve come to appreciate in reading the letters and the biography of C. S. Lewis was his love of reading….”

Read more of “A Bibliophile, Too“

Click here to make any Amazon purchase in support of this blog.
This does not add to the cost of your order, but provides a referral fee to this ministry.
[Click to learn more]

A memorial at Petra, Jordan.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17, “May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.”

My favorite verse in this blessing of Paul for these young Christians is “Himself.” We can experience encouragement and strengthening from Jesus Christ Himself. There is a personal encounter dynamic implied here. I am never alone. Jesus is been with me in every moment as an Encourager. He really is in me—with me. This is not a theory, a dynamic, an idea. This is a living reality. And I forget this continually.

Jesus, I am so deeply grateful that you and the Father have loved me and have so generously encouraged me and given me hope for a beautiful, fruitful future. I welcome Your encouragement of my heart. I welcome Your strengthening in all the work I’m doing this month.

Click here to make any Amazon purchase in support of this blog.
This does not add to the cost of your order, but provides a referral fee to this ministry.
[Click to learn more]

A narrow pathway at Petra

I just read a very un-American passage in Paul. I appreciate it.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10, “But [the Lord] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Paul boasts, gladly even, about his weaknesses. You can’t really do this if your identity is rooted in your perceived strengths. You can only do this if your identity is secure in Christ Himself and His strengths—His power. In fact, it is when our sense of worth and value comes from Who Christ is and how He is with us that we realize our weaknesses are an asset. They become grace places where we are drawn to find in Him all that we need and all that we are.

Click here to make any Amazon purchase in support of this blog.
This does not add to the cost of your order, but provides a referral fee to this ministry.
[Click to learn more]

After more than thirty years in ministry, I felt tired, unsure and basically burned out. I wasn’t sure where to turn. When I showed up for my first Journey retreat, I didn’t know what I was stepping into. I now realize I was stepping into a life boat God supplied to give me the transforming experience I needed to restore my soul, learn how to keep it healthy and breathe ongoing life into it to love and serve God fully for all the days I have left!

Walking this path for two years with my generation was life-giving. At our final retreat, I shared with my group, “God is no longer my employer whom I’m trying to please. He is my best friend whom I love with all that I am.”

That may sound trite, but it is huge. I know too many leaders in vocational ministry who do not walk with God as I have learned to do and their souls are shriveling up. The men and women that lead this Journey are humble, intentional, honest and sincere followers of Christ. I have never felt more loved and accepted in my life, and certainly not at any of the dozens of conferences I attended throughout my ministry career.

I have personally witnessed many leaders in ministry crash and burn. I now realize that what often leads to these outcomes produced by sin is lack of personal, spiritual soul care. The Leadership Institute exists to provide quality teaching, ample space, and Scriptural context to help all of us learn how to follow Jesus in the way He invites us; to where our load is easy, our burden is light, and our joy overflows.

Grace Cabalka
Bakersfield, CA
Journey Generation 18

A mosaic in the old city of Bethlehem near the shepherd’s fields.

Psalm 78:38-39 NIV
Yet he was merciful;
he forgave their iniquities
and did not destroy them.
Time after time he restrained his anger
and did not stir up his full wrath.
He remembered that they were but flesh,
a passing breeze that does not return.

This comes at the close of a long narrative describing just how fickle the people of Israel were in their trust (or mistrust) of God. I feel as fickle as them at times. They witnessed countless miracles and still struggled with doubt and disloyalty. They’d call out to Him when trouble came, but forget Him when things were going well. They questioned His provision, even when they’d witnessed water from a rock, and bread and meat from the heavens. They lived fearful and futile lives.

“Yet”. Even in the face of their waywardness, God was merciful and forgiving. He relented. He held back the full expression of His displeasure and anger. He remembered just how frail and feeble they were. He did not expect more from them than they were able to deliver.

In my own life, I have felt my own waywardness and shakey faith. Where God’s faithfulness is measurelessly great, mine seems fleeting as a morning mist. I sometimes wonder when I will live a faithfully fruitful life. I feel so easily sidetracked by anxieties, distractions and fears. I don’t like this about myself. I feel I disappoint You like the Israelites in this psalm.

Father, do you see and hear my true heart that feels buried underneath my wayward emotions and desires? Can You hear that I long most for You alone? Do You see something in me that really is worthy of redeeming? Do You see in me a reflection, however faint, of Yourself?

Grant me a new heart, one made of flesh and sensitive to You and to others. Grant me a new mind, renewed to think thoughts after You. Grant me a will strongly devoted to and focused on You, able to stay with the good works You’ve prepared ahead for me to engage and work on. Grant me the emotional and spiritual energy and stamina I need to actually work in a sustained and fruitful way on my writing. Apart from You, I can’t do this. This book only works with You. I know that, and I forget that. Grant that Your Spirit would quiet my mind and heart with Your love. Open my ears to hear and my eyes to see what You have for me in this day.

Click here to make any Amazon purchase in support of this blog.
This does not add to the cost of your order, but provides a referral fee to this ministry.
[Click to learn more]

• Listening to God for myself and for our ministry.
• Listening with God to our past (and the good to be kept or the harmful or worthless to be turned from and left behind).
• Listening to one another in leadership teams.
• Listening to God for the people and the ‘program’
• Listening to people we serve.

When we fail to listen, we may also find ourselves failing to keep first things first. We forget the words of Jesus that are rich not only in personal wisdom but in leadership wisdom as well:

Matthew 6:33 NLT, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

Instead of being attentive to the reign and the way of God, we find ourselves seeking first:

• To be different
• To be attractive
• To be relevant
• To be cool
• To be liked

Are these God’s invitations to us? Are these evidences of His loving reign and His good way? Everything good is a fruit of making our seeking of God a first response instead of a last resort. When God is truly reigning in our lives, we are different in ways we cannot manufacture directly. We love one another from the powerful center of sharing Christ in common. Our lives actually display God’s glory in increasing measure. And what could be more relevant than a community of people living a truly caring, joyful, relaxed way of life together?

For Reflection:

• What are you tempted to seek first these days in your life and ministry before God’s gracious reign and His life-giving way?

Click here to make any Amazon purchase in support of this blog.
This does not add to the cost of your order, but provides a referral fee to this ministry.
[Click to learn more]

Ruins of the Praetorium in Caesarea by the Sea.

Those of us engaged in either paid or voluntary ministry often feel overwhelmed by the needs that surround us. It can feel ever-present. In light of that experience, these words of Elton Trueblood about Jesus become critical for us:

“It is a little shocking to realize that Christ, on occasion, actually neglected the needy populace for a while in order to pray. The striking instance of this phenomenon is that of going apart from the clamoring crowd to the Mountain of Transfiguration. All three of the Synoptics tell the story, but only Luke, who stresses prayer more than do the others, says that He went up to pray (9:28). Most of the disciples remained on the plain below, continuing to meet with, and trying to help, the needy people. Yet Christ Himself, with His inner circle, actually seemed to avoid, at least for a time, the human miseries which He could have relieved had He been there. We know of the miseries because the needy people were there waiting for Him upon His return.

Here is the finest example of the rhythm of withdrawal and encounter. It would have been a mistake to remain always on the mountain, but it would also have been a mistake never to ascend the mountain. Service is important, but service is not the only thing that is important. In so far as we try to imitate the life of Christ, we need to be reminded that the quality of service depends primarily upon what we have to offer, and that we do not have enough to offer when we are always offering. Christ left the needy people in order to engage in prayer, not because He did not care, but because He cared so much that He had to have times apart for conscious communion with the Father. The duty to pray is as crucial as is the duty to serve.” (Trueblood, Elton. The Lord’s Prayers. New York: Harper & Row, Publishers, 1965, p. 29.)

For Reflection:

• What concerns or responsibilities in your life seem so large as to make time for prayer feel somehow beyond possibility? How do you want to step away with Jesus into places of encountering the Father?

A first century boat found in 1986 in the Sea of Galilee

Passage: Psalm 52

Read:
⁸ But I am like an olive tree
flourishing in the house of God;
I trust in God’s unfailing love
for ever and ever.
⁹ For what you have done I will always praise you
      in the presence of your faithful people.
And I will hope in your name,
      for your name is good.

Reflect: David writes this psalm on the occasion of Doeg the Edomite telling Saul that he had taken refuge with Ahimelek the priest. Saul later ordered Doeg to massacre Ahimelek and his kin. Eighty-five died that day. Only one escaped. I think David is comparing himself to Doeg in these verses.

David is aware of God’s great and gracious works on his behalf, and so expresses continual praise to Him together with the rest of God’s people.

Respond: Like David, I long to be like an olive tree that flourishes in God’s house. I want to be so at home with God that His life is at home in me and and flows into every thought, word and deed. I desire to live in simpler, deeper trust in the unfailing love of the Father for me today.

Flourishing in God’s house. Flourishing in God’s unfailing love. Flourishing because of His faithful work for my good. Flourishing in hope. Enable me to flourish and be fruitful for Your purposes.

Rest: “Flourishing in the house of God.”

Click here to make any Amazon purchase in support of this blog.
This does not add to the cost of your order, but provides a referral fee to this ministry.
[Click to learn more]