In August, on the last night of a three-day personal retreat, I woke at 3:00am with a great sense of anxiety. I had been struggling with my distorted gut image of God for many days. I found myself praying, “Jesus, I really need for You to show me the Father. I need to see Him the way You see Him.” I thought it was a good prayer.
Immediately, it seemed that God’s Spirit brought to mind the passage in John 14 where Jesus answers a very similar request from Philip. (Let me share the extended passage here):
6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7 If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”
8 Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.”
9 Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10 Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. 11 Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. 12 Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. 13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.
I find this passage profoundly life-giving and potent for where I’m at in the journey. Jesus says to Philip and, for that matter, to me, “From now on, You do know [the Father] and have seen him.” Like Philip, I would have replied, “I really do want to see the Father. That would satisfy me.”
Jesus’ response is one I need to hear. Philip expressed what he thinks is a lack in his spiritual journey. He doesn’t think he’s seen the Father. Jesus opens his eyes by saying; basically, “You’ve been with me for three years. You’ve watched how I’ve lived. You’ve seen what I’ve done. You’ve heard what I said. All of this has been the Father’s nature on display. The Father is like me. I am like my Father. We are One. I haven’t been living my life for the Father so much as in the Father, and He has lived in me all this time. Didn’t you realize that? I speak with His authority. I live in His love and power.
“Now, Philip (and Alan), this is what I invited you into. Trust Me. Believe in Me when I say this. You’ve watched how I lived in the Father. Now I say to you, ‘Live in the Father through me.’ Let the Father work through you, speak through you, live in and through you. Just as the Father has shown Himself in and through Me, let Him now do the same in and through you. Ask whatever you wish in this way. I want it. The Father wants it. And, deep down, you know that you want it as well.”
My response: “Father, I can feel the reality of Your life in these words. I feel an answer to the deep prayer of my heart for so many weeks, months and maybe even years. Your answer to this prayer heals me as Your filling relieves the pressure I’ve felt to try to fill myself with empty experiences, vacant pleasures, and false comforts. Jesus, You Yourself are my experience of life, my pleasing home and my true and real comfort.
“May Your Spirit awaken this as an abiding reality in how I think, feel, choose, plan and work. May this growing reality of my attitude and disposition in life enable me to do the work You have prepared ahead for me in my book writing, the course I’ll teach for HIU, my consulting opportunities, my upcoming retreats, and my leadership of the Journey. This would bring life to others, rather than my just repeated words that have been true enough, but not true enough in me right now.
“Keep healing my heart image of ‘God’, Jesus. Help me to have a vision of the Father in You. Help me remember You, and in that memory realize what the Father is really like. A Father like You is a Father I want to be deeply united with. A Father like You is a Father I want living in me.”
So with all of this in mind, I then hear You when You say, “Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. 13 And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it (John 14:12-14 NIV).”
Jesus wants me to hear these words as very true. They reflect deep spiritual reality. This is how it really is. Jesus wants me to deeply trust Him so that I will be able to do the works of the Father just like He did (and does through the Spirit now). I can hardly imagine doing even greater works prepared by the Father since Jesus is with Him in heaven and with me through the Spirit.
I am empowered to “write checks” in Jesus’ name on the account of the Father. I am His representative and am authorized, in a sense, as a signer on that account. And that check will be honored for that reason. It is not carte blanche for selfish requests. It is authority for all the resources and power and wisdom and compassion that I need to do ‘Father works’ in my life and ministry now.
Reflection: How welcoming does your gut image of God feel to you? In what ways does your gut image of God look different from Jesus? Talk to Him about this.
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An edited journal excerpt from June 1991
