A Good Retreat Leader

20 01 2012

Because I find that intentional retreat has become a frequent mode of spiritual leadership for me over the last twenty years, both in my life and in my ministry to Christian leaders, I’m always watching for resources on this theme.

One older book I came across on the theme of retreat is Time to Spare, written by Douglas Steere in 1949. Listen to this description of a good retreat leader (and thanks for understanding the male-focused language reflecting the writer’s time if not his heart):

“The retreat leader who in all that he does and is shows that he honestly cares for each of the retreatants, that what happens in each of them matters to him, that he is the kind of person who understands and yet is deeply respectful of the hidden life in each, is one who is likely to become a true guide. But in his instruction he must speak bluntly and plainly to these questions that are consciously or unconsciously in the hearts of his listeners. He must diagnose and expose the hindrances and must make wholeness attractive. If he can speak in simple parables, in illuminating examples, no matter how personal they may be, and in convincing experiences and do it in such a way that room is left for the Invisible Companion to speak to the heart of the listener while this is going on, he is again moving in the way of the true guide. Sympathy, good sense and a veteran’s experience in the life of prayer are good qualifications in such a guide.” (Steere, Douglas V. Time to Spare. New York: Harper & Brothers, Publishers, 1949, p. 65-66.)

For reflection: What line in this extended quotation hits closest to home for you? Which one either captures something you long for in your own life, or in your ministry to others?

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Categories : A Good Word, Retreat, Spiritual Direction

When You Don’t Feel Like Meeting With God

30 07 2011

A vista view from Serra Retreat in Malibu, CA

Sometimes, when I rise in the morning, I feel a resistence in me to meeting with God. I feel the temptation to let that resistance decide my morning for me. “I don’t feel like meeting with God.” That sure sounds a lot different than the psalmists who long for God and cry out for Him. I find myself saying, “I want to long for God, but I don’t feel that right now.” Is longing in this case only a feeling? Might it also be a willing, if not felt, offering of the heart?

So, I realize that my “don’t feel like it” isn’t as deep as my deeper heart’s longing for God. I really do want to meet with God in the morning. This dynamic, I think, is the spirit of what Paul teaches in his letters. For example:

Galatians 5:16-18 NIV, “So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.17 For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

Paul describes competing desires within us. There are flesh desires and Spirit desires. They are in conflict with each other. I am, in Paul’s description, at odds within myself. I must choose to “walk by the Spirit” (keeping with His desires) to avoid gratifying the opposing desires of the flesh.

As a result of a counseling process I’ve been in for a while, I have identified these flesh desires as having taken shape in my earlier life. My fleshly desires are those ways in which my God-given, Spirit-inspired desires have been bent and misdirected in this world. Holy desires got attached to without-God dynamics in this world and put me at odds within myself.

The result, Paul says, of these battling desires within me is that “I am not to do whatever I want.” The earlier NIV was “so that you do not do what you want.” I think the idea here is there is a reason that I don’t always do what the Spirit desires and what my conscience would have me do. Knowing what is right is not a guarantee of doing what is right. There really is a conflict.

And I’m also struck in this Galatans passage by the destructive connection between flesh and law here. Law is an outside-in dynamic. Spirit is an inside-out dynamic. Part of me keeps thinking that some external rule or principle will solve the problem of my sometimes wayward heart. As a man “in the Spirit” and “led by the Spirit”, I’m not under law. Law, from the outside, cannot change my heart…and that is what I need. It can show me what’s right, but it can’t empower me to do what’s right.

So, living by the Spirit is a relational reality. Living under the law is something I can attempt completely apart from God. I focus on rules instead of focusing on communion with God through His Holy Spirit. How long, Lord, will it take for me to learn that I only find life in You—in communion with You?


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Categories : praying scripture, scripture reflection

When You Pray

18 04 2011

Hotel Del Coronado (Nanci Ricks)

(Repost from April 2008)

What does Jesus have to say to us about our spiritual practices? I’ve found a lot of help lately in Matthew 6:1-18. This is the passage in which Jesus tells us that when we give to the poor, or pray, or fast, that we should do so secretly before God, rather than publicly for human attention. I’ve noticed a few key contrasting words/themes.

Hidden/visible.
Unseen/seen.
Secret/public.
Reality/appearances.
Seen by unseen Father/seen publicly by obvious others.

I’m also struck by Jesus’ assumption that those to whom He speaks will give to the needy, pray and fast. In verses 2, 5 and 16, Jesus says, “When you give to the needy”, “when you pray,” and “when you fast.” These were common practices among the Jews of His day. If Jesus were to share these words with our congregation today, would He be able to say when about these practices? Or, would He have to say if.

That said, I notice that when Jesus talks about forgiveness, he uses the word if (For if you forgive people who sin against you…). Forgiveness is not a way of life that Jesus assumes will come as naturally. The metaphor I’ve used in communicating this passage is that forgiveness is a single two-way swinging door. If I think that I can receive forgiveness from God, but withhold it from my neighbor, I’m not entering into the reality of forgiveness. If the door of forgiveness is open, it swings in both directions. Forgiveness is giving and receiving.

There is also the theme of reward in this passage. The hypocrites who do their “acts of righteousness” (verse 1) in front of others receive their reward in full. They direct their soul hunger and thirst towards people, longing for human recognition, admiration, affirmation and praise. Jesus says that when they get it, that’s all the reward they’ll receive. In a sense, Jesus implies that they will not really be satisfied with what they get.

Instead, Jesus urges us to turn from the empty praise of others towards the unseen Father whose “well done” actually fills our soul. God alone can give true affirmation, distinction and honor.

Finally, Jesus warns us that when we pray, we need not “babble like pagans” who think they will be heard because of their many words (verse 7). Am I tempted to this equation–“more words = more likely audience with God”? Part of me still assumes that I need to talk awhile so that God knows that I really mean what I say. So many of our prayers seem like endless attempts to get God’s attention, rather than being words that assume God has been attentive to us even before we began to pray.

God knows our hearts. God hears our longings, our needs, our hurts, our joys. Perhaps the reason that the prayer of quiet is considered a later stage in a maturing life of prayer is because we finally realize that our words don’t communicate information to God that He doesn’t already know. And not only does He know, He already cares about what concerns me before I mention it to Him.

One of the dynamics here is that there must be a holy, healthy, hidden dynamic in the Christian leader’s life that underlies a holy, fruitful, public life.


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Categories : Looking Back, scripture reflection

Looking Back: Sabbath and Identity

15 09 2010

I’m teaching a couple of sections of an online course for Hope International University that my friend, Jan Johnson, created. It’s been a steep learning curve for me, but a pleasure to interact with students as they are trying on practices like solitude, silence and Sabbath. These are very countercultural for most North American Christians.

Back in July 2009, I posted a great quotation from Mark Buchanan’s book, The Rest of God on the theme of Sabbath and surrender. It is our clinging to what we do, what we have and what others will say about about us that often keeps us from entering into the gift of Sabbath days, Sabbath spaces, Sabbath moments

PS – Forgive the “ad”, but let me just mention that if you are in the Northern California area, I’ll be leading one of our “An Unhurried Day with Jesus” events on Saturday, October 16 at Sunrise Community Church in Fair Oaks, CA. I’m also preaching there in services on Sunday, 10/17. I’d love to have you join us for either of those days if you’re able. I always enjoy crossing paths in person with those who read the posts here.

CLICK to enjoy “Sabbath and Identity”


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Categories : A Good Word, Looking Back

Spiritual Transformation: We Don’t Have Time!

26 08 2010

I’ve written here before about a simple, strategic insight we’ve been gaining in our work alongside Christian organizations and ministries in spiritual transformation. It’s so simple it almost sounds silly to mention it, but here it is: There must be time and space given to spiritual practices (like scripture reflection, waiting on God in community, intercessory prayer) in the midst of leadership, planning, board and other organizational meetings.

One of the barriers to this occurring is an insidious little belief that creeps into our thinking: “There is so much to do for God that we don’t have time for these practices.” The assumption is usually that everyone will make time on their own to pray or read the scriptures reflectively. I certainly hope Christian leaders do this. But we’ve found that many don’t. The need is to practice the Christian life together as well as in our prayer closet.

Another way this “we don’t have time” belief sounds like this: “Ministry time given to mutual prayer, scripture reflection and other spiritual practices will diminish our ministry productivity.” We won’t get as much done if we are taking some church or ministry office hours to pray together, listen to scripture together, etc. Our experience is the opposite. Even a tithe of time given to sharing in the life of Christ together in community multiplies itself in creativity, wisdom, energy and other spiritual realities that actually increase ministry fruit. (We encourage leadership teams and ministry boards to work towards devoting one-third of their gathering to seeking God together in such practices).

A while back, we encouraged an international ministry board to devote one of their three packed board meeting days to simply seeking God in solitude and in then in community. Some struggled, feeling that they would run out of time to address everything on the agenda. Instead, they finished the planned three day agenda in about a day-and-a-half. Their hearts were on the same page. They felt they had clearer discernment of God’s leading. They spent far less time in the kinds of disagreements that might make the agenda take longer.

We sometimes believe that time given to reflecting on scripture and praying in community as a church or ministry team will diminish the ministry. It sounds a little crazy when you look at it written there, but that belief lingers in a lot of our hearts. It’s an addition/subtraction view of the work of ministry. Less hours on ministry work will produce less fruit. But what if doing the “first thing” of communion with God together is a multiplication approach to fruitfulness? What if the fewer hours left after I’ve given first attention to first things means that my message preparation, event planning, problem solving, etc. are far more creative and Spirit-guided than they would have been otherwise? This has been our experience.

Questions for Reflection:

  • Think of your own ministry, whether in a paid or volunteer role. How much time do you spend in leadership or planning gatherings actually enjoying the scriptures and praying for one another? How might God be inviting you to practice “seeking Him first” in the midst of leadership meetings?
  • Perhaps you are part of a leadership gathering that you don’t lead. How might you enrich the meeting by sharing something meaningful from your own time in scripture that day with the others? How might your life be a catalyst for spiritual transformation?

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Categories : spiritual leadership

Looking Back: Sabbath and Identity

4 07 2010

Happy Independence Day. May you know the freedom that is true freedom, the freedom with which Christ has made us free (Gal. 5:1).

Here’s a link back to a entry from last July about our identity being rooted in Sabbath:

CLICK to read “Sabbath and Identity“

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Categories : Looking Back

When God Changes Your Plans

16 04 2010

Today was an interesting writing day. I had a plan. I thought it was a pretty good one. It would have resulted in quite a few more book pages written. God seemed to have other plans. Instead of book writing, I found myself soul journaling. I wrote another 4,000 words of journal capturing thoughts, feelings, memories, wrestlings, whatever that were just pouring out of me onto my MacBook. I most certainly won’t be publishing this stuff! It might make interesting gossip, but I’m not writing for the Inquirer.

One of the tasks I had to take some time this afternoon for was grading some papers for a course on Fasting & Simplicity that I taught in January at Hope International University. This is a modular, residency course that I’ve always enjoyed teaching in.

One element of the process that I enjoy, as strange as it sounds, is grading the final papers. I’m not saying it’s easy, or even fun exactly. It just feels like an opportunity to do spiritual direction with students. It’s easier to do this when the focus on the paper is not just learnings about the subject, but on their practice and then reflection on that practice. Many of my comments were specific, but some of them seemed general enough to share here as a sort of potpourri of spiritual direction insights:

  • We never really know how we’ll respond to unforeseen crises because we don’t realize God’s unforeseen grace.
  • For many, the experience of fasting comes first as an outward challenge or exhortation before it moves to a more personal or inward response.
  • It is helpful to recognize that all of the spiritual practices work in concert with one another.
  • It’s good to be honest about our resistances. Noting them in God’s presence can help us see our way past them through His loving companionship with us.
  • The spiritual life is always a process—a journey. We celebrate little steps of progress, rather than being overwhelmed by inevitable moments of struggle and even failure.
  • Prayer often begins by our pouring out our hearts to God, and then God’s Spirit will nudge us to a more listening posture out of that.
  • Hurry is the air we breathe, and therefore spiritual disciplines are a critical way to become aware of a pace we often taken for granted.
  • It’s good to see the continuum in our lives between addiction and freedom. I would argue that all of the spiritual disciplines are a mean of recovering spiritual freedom and releasing us from some of our compulsive attachments to certain ideas, things or behaviors.

(I’ll share a few more of these tomorrow)

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Categories : grace, Spiritual Direction, spiritual disciplines, spiritual guidance, writing

Looking Back: Practicing God’s Presence in the Midst

13 03 2010

I’ve always enjoyed and appreciated Brother Lawrence and his insights into practicing the presence of God. Back in September 2009, I shared one of his counsels about stopping occasionally, even in the midst of our spiritual disciplines, to adore and enjoy God in the midst of our activities.

Read more of this post at “Practicing God’s Presence in the Midst”

Buy a copy of The Practice of the Presence of God: Writings and Conversations on Amazon.com.
(This is the scholarly edition of his works, and my favorite version)


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Categories : Practicing the Presence, Prayer, spiritual disciplines

Faith Like An Iceberg

23 02 2010

Weird title, I know. It comes from something I reread in Elton Trueblood’s sermon “The Discipline of Discipleship”—

“…we know that our public religious life is likely to be thin and shallow if the inner disciplines, especially those relating to prayer and to scripture, are not kept up with absolute regularity. Prayer is obviously central. Nearly all private religion is private prayer and nearly all public religion is public prayer.” (Elton Trueblood. “The Discipline of Discipleship.” The Yoke of Christ and Other Sermons. New York: Harper & Brothers, 1958, p. 133.)

It is helpful to think about a healthy public expression of faith as the 10% visible expression of an iceberg. It’s only visible because of the 90% under the surface. If our faith is mostly only visible and related to gatherings, it doesn’t go very deep. A genuine public faith is based on significant invisible reality.


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Categories : faith, secrecy, spiritual disciplines

Waiting for Paradise?

15 02 2010

In the last month, I have prayed often for my friends, Samuel & Kendra Luna, who minister in his home country of the Dominican Republic. They have spent their last month responding to the earthquake in Haiti. God has used them in many ways to alleviate the suffering of some of the Haitians across the border. You can learn about their ministry, Nacion en Tranformacion on their website.

I was recently remembering my visit to the Lunas in the Dominican Republic last November. One day, Samuel and I drove his jeep out to the remote mountain village of Manabao, a few dozen miles west of Jarabacoa where the Lunas live and where I was staying. One of the young leaders we visited there had attended the pastors retreat I led for some of the Dominican leaders earlier in my trip. I’ll call him Jones (not his real name). The compound where he lives in Manabao is a paradise. I walked by a grove of banana trees as I came up the driveway. I enjoyed a guava I picked off a tree in the back yard. I saw a gorgeous pink lily growing out of the lawn like a weed. This property where Jones serves part of his time as ones of the caretakers overlooks a lush valley vista. It was an inspiring place to be.

Jones and Samuel were talking about how he lives in a “solitude paradise.” What better place for practicing rhythms of solitude and silence with God? He has no television or internet to distract him. He lives a simple life, supporting himself through his caretakers stipend and through farming his family’s land. I can hardly think of a more ideal setting to practice solitude and silence.

But at the pastor’s retreat, Jones shared that though he lives in this quiet, ideal location, he does not take advantage of the opportunity to enjoy time alone with God. It had been a long time since he had taken time to “come to Jesus” (which was one of the themes of our retreat together). The retreat time gave him encouragement to cultivate his relationship with Jesus. It made me wonder if I’m waiting for an ideal setting or situation in which to cultivate such patterns of life with God? Perhaps even a garden paradise has its challenges!

This last Saturday, one of the things I said as I prepared a group of about 50 participants for the three-hour block of solitude that lies at the heart of our “An Unhurried Day with Jesus” events, I encouraged them not to spend too much time looking for the ideal location. They would be scattering from the church where we were meeting to local parks, walking paths and other green spaces to meet with God. I reminded them that God does not need an ideal setting to meet with us. He really is everywhere. He may have created us in Eden, but He meets us right where we are—here and now.

Are we waiting for a perfect time, place, or season of life to cultivate a deeper conversational relationship with God? There is no time to meet with God but now. There is no place to meet with Him except here. Jesus is inviting you and me: “Come to Me.” Enjoy responding to His welcome today.


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Categories : Dominican Republic, Perfectionism, Rest, Retreat, silence, simplicity, solitude, spiritual disciplines

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